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The Imaginary Friend that Wasn’t

by Ashford - 0

I always thought it would be cute if one of my kids had an imaginary friend. I never had one nor did anyone I know. But having been raised on movies like “Drop Dead Fred” I always kind of hoped somebody would. How cute would it be that they blame things on someone who isn’t even real. How fun to set an extra place for the “friend” and to read said “friend” bedtime stories. I always thought it would be fun. Until one fateful Sunday when I left the house with no imaginary friend only to return 2 hours and one nap later to a tearful 3 YO asking “Where is Wubby????” I wracked my brain trying to remember which stuffed animal was named

Rewriting your past

by Ashford - 1

In college I once wrote a paper for my Psych class about the fact that the smell of motor oil turns me on.  Weird right? Yeah I know. But you see your sense of smell has an amazing ability to take you back to a moment that you had long ago- in an instant you’re there. You see my boyfriend at the time (now my husband) was a mechanic. We were dating long distance but every month or so he would leave work on a Friday and make the 5 hour drive to my campus to see me. He always smelled of motor oil and manual labor. He doesn’t smell like that anymore. Now he smells like an office, or on a good

The halfway Christmas

by Ashford - 2

  The lights were halfway up for weeks The garland still ain't done  I'm losing hope It'll all be hung Before January one    We got our tree from the tree farm  Just outside of town  Too bad that after just one week The star is falling down    Half the presents have been bought And none of them are wrapped I hesitate to say it But by Christmas I'll have snapped   The mail ain't even opened Too many Christmas cards to read The kids all have their programs And a drink is what I need    We gotta take some pics with santa And read him all our lists And wear our matching outfits No matter how much they resist    There are cookies to be baked And light shows to go see We almost missed the live nativity 'Cuz someone had to pee   We try to teach our

The watermark always rises

by Ashford - 8

  “I hope you don’t ever get a chronic health condition,” I snarled at him. “I could never take care of you.” And I meant it. We were 12 days into a chronic sinus infection, had our first child who was only 15 weeks old, and had just opened a business. I was in that sleep-deprived “what the heck do I do with this baby” place and my husband was laid up in bed like he had ebola. But life is all about expanding your threshold isn't it? Now, 6 years, 2 more children, and one cancer diagnosis later I find myself doing the very thing I swore I couldn’t withstand. My husband is a boat dealer and I've always kind of had a thing for

THIS woman’s place is in the kitchen

by Ashford - 1
kitchen

I started dating my husband 17 years ago (holy crap is that right?!?!) And I spent the last 10 years married to him. The most important lesson that I have learned is that, indeed, my place is in the kitchen. Now before you go all “women’s lib” on me let me start by saying that I am all for equality. I am a successful career woman and am the primary breadwinner for my ever growing family of five. This is not an issue of gender roles. This is an issue of self-preservation. This man, who is wonderful at so many things, once screwed up making Easy Mac. Yes, you read that correctly. Easy Mac. You know the product that is marketed to

Telling your children you have cancer

by Ashford - 1

“Daddy has cancer.” For 3 months these words were balled up in my throat making it impossible to breathe, to speak. For 3 months every time I looked at my children's faces I could feel them rising up like vomit that I had to force back down. The tears welled up in my eyes as I imagined the impending “talk” we couldn’t avoid. They knew something was wrong. Of course they knew. He had been through 2 surgeries and we had been gone countless days visiting specialists out of town. They’re smarter than I give them credit. The undercurrent in our house was tense and uncomfortable with the unspoken words. But saying it out loud was more than I could handle. We planned

My baby was too fat to breathe (Part 2)

by Ashford - 1

Existing in the NICU is a surreal experience. You know the world is continuing to spin and people are living their lives like normal. But your world stops. Your world is confined to a unit on a hospital floor. Your only interactions are the nurses, doctors, and the cafeteria staff. During shift changes no parents were allowed on the floor so I would wander around the hospital exploring every hallway, nook, and cranny. I learned where the free ice machine was and the hours of the coffee kiosk. After a few days I blended in with the machines and not even the nurses saw me anymore. I sat in the corner rocking my baby watching. I watched terrified parents arrive after

Fill me up

by Ashford - 1

  As a mom I spend a lot of time filling things up. I fill up snack bags with goldfish, lunch boxes, diaper bags, and sippy cups (“Not the RED one the BLUE one!”). I fill up my time card at work each week and when I get home I fill little bellies, the washing machine, the dryer, and the dishwasher. I fill up schedules and empty seats at cheerleading practice. I fill up empty spaces left by tiny broken hearts and hurt feelings. I fill up my husband with the encouragement he needs after a hard day at work. There are boxes of girl scout cookies to fill the orders which will fill the bank account for the troop. Some of the

Switchbacks and Sippy Cups

by Ashford - 2

I cry when I hike. It’s not because I’m weak or miserable. It’s not because I dislike hiking. In fact, I really like hiking. It’s because when I hike I push myself beyond all reasonable limits. I move beyond physical exhaustion and pain to a place where I lose the ability to regulate certain things. I feel my body giving out and I don’t believe I can go anymore. Yet somehow I do. One foot in front of the other. I put mind over matter and detach. I continue taking step after step, my mind somewhere far away, and the tears begin to slide down my cheeks. It doesn’t stop me or slow me down. I give myself the space to

I wish that I knew what I know now

by Ashford - 0

"I wish that I knew what I know now- when I was younger." You know that famous Rod Stewart song? It’s one of those songs that gets stuck in your head. (I apologize that now it will be the soundtrack to your entire day.) It came on the radio the other day and ever since Rod has been crooning the chorus loud and clear in my brain and it got me to pondering. I wish that I knew what I know now. Except that I don’t.  I’m glad I didn’t. Because now I know that the world is a scary place full of horrible people lurking around every corner. There is no escape from the terror that grips me with every news cast. Horrible

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