Meet the Teacher AKA The Night From Hell

by Ashford - 6

So we’re comin’ in hot to “Meet the Teacher” night from a week at the beach because what else would prime you to the point of combustion than a 3 hour drive with 3 exhausted kids, 2 exhausted parents, and one large dog? The baby has pissed in his car seat because quite frankly when we stopped at the McDonalds we totally forgot to take him to the bathroom. I mean we were a tad distracted with the 5 year old who beelined to the playground and the 7 year old who had an absolute meltdown because the toy offered in the Happy Meal was no longer from “The Secret Life of Pets” and “HOW AM I GONNA FINISH MY

Day 2: Alicetown, Bimini

by Ashford - 0

We are awoken at first light. It’s amazing to me that we struggle to get out of bed every morning with our alarm clocks at home but here on vacation with no alarms set we are up at sunrise. As soon as we open the cabin door we are greeted by Cheesecake asking for “an eye opener” (a beer). He reminds me of a stray animal that you made the mistake of feeding that one time and now it follows you around everywhere you go. It’s clear to me that The Gravy has become his gravy train. We oblige and give him the beer despite the fact that it’s only about 7 am and we ask him to bring us 4

Day 1: First Crossing West Palm to Bimini

by Ashford - 1

We took a trip for our 10th anniversary (also celebrating the Hub's 1 year cancerversary) by taking our 28 foot fishing boat across the Grand Banks to the Bahamas. Many have asked how our trip was so I thought I'd publish my diary entries from the week. I hope you find it even remotely as thrilling as I did. *********** We had arrived at the West Palm Marina around 9 pm on Friday night- 4 hours later than expected. We were exhausted and beaten down from the long drive and still had the task of launching the boat in an unfamiliar marina now in the dark. The marina office had long since closed so we were left to our own devices to

Why I’m not praying for a clear PET scan

by Ashford - 3

Today is my husband’s routine PET scan and I'm not praying for good results. He was diagnosed with stage 3 Melanoma this time last year and man have we been through it. For those of you who aren't aware - he went through multiple surgeries and a particular devastating round of chemo. Now the phrase “round of chemo” can mean a lot of things to a lot of people (as can the word “devastating”). But in our case he endured 19 doses in 24 days administered by IV. At that point he switched to injections that were supposed to be given 3 times a week. The entire regimen was supposed to last 52 weeks, a full year. He made it through 7. At the point they

Dirty words and life lessons

by Ashford - 0

We spend a fair amount of time in our house discussing the difference between “good” and “bad” words. My kids are little at 6, 4, and 1 and so I still have a large amount of control in this arena. Most of our bad words are pretty tame. We have the usual suspects like “stupid”, “jerk”, and “loser.” But I feel like we have a pretty good handle on it. For example, my kids still believe that “hate” is a bad word not to be spoken. This isn’t to say we don’t have the occasional big time f-bomb but for the most part it remains largely under control. That is until 2 weeks ago when I was introduced to some new,

THIS woman’s place is in the kitchen

by Ashford - 1
kitchen

I started dating my husband 17 years ago (holy crap is that right?!?!) And I spent the last 10 years married to him. The most important lesson that I have learned is that, indeed, my place is in the kitchen. Now before you go all “women’s lib” on me let me start by saying that I am all for equality. I am a successful career woman and am the primary breadwinner for my ever growing family of five. This is not an issue of gender roles. This is an issue of self-preservation. This man, who is wonderful at so many things, once screwed up making Easy Mac. Yes, you read that correctly. Easy Mac. You know the product that is marketed to

Summer in the Southland

by Ashford - 3

It’s here. Summer in the Southland. At first this may conjure up romanticized visions of sipping iced tea on the porch and catching fireflies in mason jars. There are long lazy afternoons in the hammock and days spent at the lake. Every crossroad has a vegetable stand manned by the farmer’s wife herself selling their wares and homemade peach ice cream is an essential. And while all of these things seem beautiful and simple they are NOT the true representation of a deep South summer. Not even a little bit. There is only one word that can accurately describe this experience…. Moist. While I know so many people have an aversion to that very word I assure you that hearing the word is

Telling your children you have cancer

by Ashford - 1

“Daddy has cancer.” For 3 months these words were balled up in my throat making it impossible to breathe, to speak. For 3 months every time I looked at my children's faces I could feel them rising up like vomit that I had to force back down. The tears welled up in my eyes as I imagined the impending “talk” we couldn’t avoid. They knew something was wrong. Of course they knew. He had been through 2 surgeries and we had been gone countless days visiting specialists out of town. They’re smarter than I give them credit. The undercurrent in our house was tense and uncomfortable with the unspoken words. But saying it out loud was more than I could handle. We planned

It was easier when he was sick

by Ashford - 1

Can I be honest here? Can I say something horrible that no one would ever think to say?  Except that they might think it. Or they might think that I’m horrible for saying it. It could really go either way at this point. But I pride myself on my brutal (and sometimes inappropriate) honesty. So here it goes… It was easier when he was sick. There I said it. And I haven’t been struck by lightening just yet so let me explain myself if you would. It’s been almost a year since my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma. It’s been about 8 months since he began chemo. And it’s been about 3 months since he’s been feeling somewhat “normal” and our lives have returned. But

We all fight the undertow

by Ashford - 11

  I sat on the beach with the wind whipping my hair into me eyes. The waves were much bigger than they should’ve been and I should’ve been keeping a closer eye on the children in the water. I just couldn’t bring myself to watch them. Instead, I was watching the family next to us. They were laughing and drinking and their daughter was building a sand castle.   I didn’t mean to begrudge their happiness but I couldn’t help but be jealous - resentful even. My mind was swirling with the news we had received just hours before that my husband’s cancer had spread. He would have to undergo a year of chemo- that he had a 60-70% survival rate for the

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