“HEY!!!! THIS ISN’T YOUR PLAYGROUND!! GET OFF OF HERE OR I’M GOING TO SEND YOU A BILL FOR THE DAMAGE!!!”

It was Christmas morning and my husband was out on the golf course with Meeny teaching him how to drive his brand new RC car. To be fair they weren’t causing any damage- they were only making tracks in the dew. He tried to be nice at first but the onslaught continued.

“WHERE DO YOU LIVE????” the voice bellowed from the porch across the course.

Finally the Hubs had had enough. He snapped. He forgot who he was and where he was and who he was with (and the example he was setting).

“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO! WHY DON’T YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!” he screamed back across the course his voice echoing against the hills.

When he returned to the house to tell me about the “jerk neighbor” I was less than enthusiastic. I explained to him that we are setting examples for our children, we have to be the bigger person, that we have no idea what is going on with that man and why he is so angry on Christmas morning. Maybe he suffered some immeasurable loss this year, maybe he’s alone, maybe…..fill in the blank. Well, hubs wasn’t having any of it.

It wasn’t so long ago that he lost it with the sanitation company and after months and months of back and forth phone calls trying to cancel the service at his business he actually picked up their dumpster with a forklift, drove it out to the middle of a well traveled street and left it there. The police showed up but after he recounted the story to them they backed him in his actions. So this is to say he rarely loses his temper except when it is well beyond time.

That being said I find myself tonight as he is sneaking around our house like a cat burglar…

“What in the heck are you doing?” I asked.

“I just moved the flag from the green into that nasty man’s yard and I’m putting the Christmas tree in the hole,” he responded nonchalantly.

After much arguing I realized that I was NOT going to win this one so I chose the only obvious choice. I followed him out to the green,  all the while he was violently whispering for me to turn off the flashlight, and documented the offense.

“I’m doing a damned blog post,” I said defianltly.

“Do it,” he retorted.

And that is how we spent our New Years Eve in the suburbs. Hope yours is a little less adventurous. And I hope that we will awake to peace in the morning…..matter of fact, maybe I should sneak out after he goes to bed and right the whole situation. 

Cheers ya’ll!!  A crazy closing to a crazy year in a crazy family. I would expect nothing less.

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If you liked this you’ll probably like My SUV is a WMD: A Christmas Story or The halfway Christmas