I like to think that most of the crazy things that happen in my life are because of my children. That way it’s their fault and not anything to do with me. They are the ones who create the chaos right? Wrong. As it turns out it’s not just the kids who are crazy…

So we are heading over to my best friend’s house last night for a little Christmas shindig and my husband is driving. Let’s just say patience is one of his “development areas” (as my old boss used to put it). 

We were not late, not expected to be there at a certain time, and not in a hurry. Nevertheless at the stoplight waiting to turn left he decided the person in front of him should have turned a little faster. So naturally he lays on the horn. He then proceeds to tailgate them.

I guess it made them nervous because every turn in the road they would get on the brakes. Hubs is starting to lose his mind and is angrily saying things like “Any day now” and “Learn how to drive” and other much more colorful things that I won’t write here. I on the other hand am trying to be the voice of reason. “Honey maybe they’ve never been down this [pitch black heavily wooded very curvy] road before.” You never know.

Well wouldn’t you know it they turn right just at the road we were going to take. Then on the next one, and the next. I think you see where this might be heading.

So at this point we are on my best friend’s road and heading into her cul-de-sac yes still behind these people. I am starting to freak out that this may be someone attending the same gathering as us. I was relieved to say the least when they pulled into the neighbor’s driveway. However my husband unsure of which house we were actually going to just stopped his truck at the beginning of the cul-de-sac and sat there with his lights on and his engine running. Honestly I was fumbling in my purse looking for my phone to call my friend because we had actually beat her to her house and I was trying to find out where she was. When I finally looked up I realized we were still sitting at the front of the cul-de-sac. And the neighbors? Yeah well they were also still sitting in their car, in their driveway, not making any attempt to exit their vehicle.

At that moment it all came together for me and I realized they must be thinking that this jerk who has been tailgating them, honking at them, and no doubt cursing them has now followed them home. I cannot even begin to imagine how horrified they might be.

As I begin swatting Hubs and fussing at him to pull into my friend’s driveway and how we must somehow signal we are not dangerous or threatening (at least I’m not). So we pull all the way down into the driveway on the darkened house. The neighbors continue to sit inside their darkened car now doubt with their phones already set to 911 and ready to push send. 

We start unloading our gear, the cooler, a Christmas present. We stack the things up under the floodlight at the corner of the garage so that maybe they might see that we are really just here for a Christmas party.

They continue to sit in the car.

After what felt like an ETERNITY my best friend pulls up behind us and parks. I immediately run to her and hug her (as does the hubs) making a big show of Christmas cheer. Finally the car next door turns off their engine and I see a woman and her daughter (maybe 12 years old) get out of the car. Yeah….it was just them. SMH My best friend throws up a big wave and says “Hey ya’ll” as I hurry into the house hanging my head in shame.

As soon as we all got in the house I explained to my friend that she may indeed may need to head over to her neighbor’s and apologize for the near heart attack we gave her and assure her that we will keep the hubs locked up in the house for the rest of the night.

Even without the kids we are a walking disaster.

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If you liked this post check out My SUV is a WMD: A Christmas Story or The Epi-Pencident