Motherhood and McDonald’s: It’s really all the same Crazy by Ashford - December 31, 20151 Originally featured on Scary Mommy. My first job some 20 years ago was working in a fast food joint. It’s almost a rite of passage for an American teen these days and quite frankly I’m probably better for it. The only thing is- I had hoped that after 20 years, several years of higher education, and several jobs later that portion of my life would be over. I have served my time in the trenches and I should be on to bigger and better things. And I thought I was. Until I realized that I wasn’t. Sadly, very little separates being a mom and working at McDonalds. Case in point… 1. It sure as hell isn’t Burger King. I can’t tell you the
If You Give a Mom a Cookie… Crazy by Ashford - July 23, 2015July 20, 20151 This post was originally featured on Huffington Post. Graphic courtesy of Barnhouse Graphics If you give your mom a cookie... She’ll probably want to take it into the closet to eat alone. In peace. When she’s in the closet she’ll notice the overflowing laundry basket and decide to throw a load in. While loading the washer she’ll realize she needs to empty the dryer vent. When she goes to the trashcan with the dryer lint she’ll realize it’s trash day. When she goes outside to take the trash she’ll probably check the mail. When she goes through the mail she’ll surely find a bill that needs to be paid. She will want to pay it right away and will go to her purse to get her checkbook. When she opens
You might be a mom if… Crazy by Ashford - July 20, 2015July 25, 20153 Guest post by Gina Ballentine of Stage Too You might be a mom if... … your car is not just a vehicle but also a movie theatre, a dining room, a dance floor, and a therapist’s office. … your phone contains 300 blurry photos of inanimate objects your preschooler took. … you consider showering before 10 am an accomplishment. … you haven’t peed alone in over a year. … there are plastic ponies, dolls, and mermaids in your shower. … you can walk through a playroom in the dark like a Ninja, never stepping on a single toy that is scattered throughout the room. … you find a random sock, hair bow, or googly eye in your purse. … you grab a Capri sun for yourself to drink. … you