You are here
Home > Posts tagged "parenting fails"

Tag: parenting fails

I am a Suburban Slumlord

by Ashford - 3

“If I dropped a dollar bill on the floor in our house I wouldn’t even pick it up,” my husband said only halfway joking. He says the floors are too dirty to warrant the risk of retrieving the dollar. And it’s probably half true. With three small (feral) children and three dogs I am basically a suburban slumlord. I was raised in a pristine house. Everything had it’s place and by God everything was in it’s place. The countertops and floors sparkled and there was no question that it was safe to eat off the floor. My house always looked like a magazine shoot for Southern Living. Even when we had kids in the house. Of course since I was raised

The house where animals go to die

by Ashford - 0

As most kids do mine have a penchant for animals. Alive OR dead. It started as an obsession with bugs which I now realize was the gateway drug to a much bigger problem. At one point I had no less than 7 Mason jars arranged across my kitchen counter housing different species of bugs. Like any good mom we researched (ie googled) how to care for each individual species. Turns out I have a knack for ladybugs and was able to keep a hoard of them alive for about 3 months. Sadly for every other living thing that enters my house it’s just a matter of time. We have inadvertently killed fireflies, caterpillars, worms, frogs, fish, grasshoppers, and one crawfish. We have

The weird kid

by Ashford - 1

Three years ago I started blogging and posted my very first post. Of course I didn't realize this milestone until FB Memories reminded me. I'm on my second website and what a journey it's been. In honor of this milestone I am reposting my VERY FIRST POST- you can tell that my life has always been chock full of rich material. Thank you for reading, following, and sharing. Love to you all. ************ [Posted September 9, 2013 on a now defunct website.] Do you ever worry that YOUR kid might just be the WEIRD kid at school? I’m not talking about the “march to the beat of her own drum” type weird. I’m talking “the smelly kid who stands in the corner alone

The vineyard in my closet

by Ashford - 4

  Let me start by saying that my husband is one of those “All In” kind of guys. Like he has 2 speeds: 1. Off and 2. 436 mph. He’s also one of those “good at everything he tries” people. I know. It’s TOTALLY annoying to me too. Over the years I’ve gotten used to his (let’s call them) eccentricities. I can take him in stride now.  He doesn’t even phase me. For example, I returned home from working late one night and when I opened the garage doors I saw him sitting there (in my parking spot) with 3 huge tables, a gigantic commercial grade sewing machine, and enough sunbrella material to cover the state of South Carolina. Did I flinch? Did

My Suburban is a WMD: A Christmas Story

by Ashford - 2

We were looking forward to an uneventful Christmas this year. We had forgone all the pomp and circumstance and opted for a low key holiday. Eeny (6) was to play an angel in the church pageant at the Christmas Eve service. I stuffed my purse with enough candy canes to occupy the boys during the service and we loaded up our suburban and headed to church. To be honest I couldn’t even pay attention to the children on stage as I was wildly flipping between the needs, nay demands, of Meeny (4) and Miny (1). The hubs was the designated historian and was standing three rows behind us videoing the entire production. I’ll have to watch the video later as I

Getting it Dead Wrong

by Ashford - 0

A few years ago my grandmother “Gammy” passed away. Thinking about her also leads me to think about one of my not-so-shining moments in parenthood. You see, her death was the first death that my children would experience. Her funeral would be the first funeral they had ever attended. Now Meeny was just 1 so I wasn’t worried about him at all but Eeny was 3 and I felt the need to explain things to her. The funeral would be open casket and I didn’t want her to be frightened or confused.  The night before the funeral as I was putting Eeny to bed I pulled her close to me and began explaining. “Baby, you remember Gammy right?” “Yes Mommy.” “Well, Gammy died and went to Heaven

Top