The Epi-Pencident Crazy by Ashford - July 6, 20172 Last year I had the pleasure (*wink wink*) of being the “Team Mom” for my daughter’s cheerleading team. What this lofty position entails is a lot of relaying of messages, but also bathroom trips, bow straightening, hand holding, conflict resolution, tear wiping, and general “momming”. I even have an awesome t-shirt that reads “Don’t make me use my team mom voice” if you catch my drift. Well out of the 27 kids I was responsible for one of them had a severe peanut allergy and so my other duty was to carry around her Epi-pen just in case. After one of our competitions I forgot to return the Epi-pen to her mom but we spoke and she assured me it would
How NOT to handle the Birds and the Bees talk Crazy by Ashford - May 3, 20170 It's important to have the discussion beforehand about how you will handle questions regarding anatomy- aka "The Birds and the Bees" talk. This prevents you from being caught unprepared and having to answer "on the fly"- which of course exponentially increases your chances of saying something stupid. Case in point.... Meeny was born when Eeny was just 2 years old. So of course there were lots of questions regarding breastfeeding (she referred to my boobs as "baby food” for years). However, the questions were not the greatest source of concern. Eeny quickly realized that while I was nursing the baby I was basically incapacitated and found that this was an excellent time to get into mischief. One particular afternoon as I was [chained
Ever have to ring the call button in the dressing room? I did… Crazy by Ashford - January 5, 20173 “Do you own Spanx? That might help!” she cheerfully suggested. The words hung in the air thick with the judgement that only a 21 year old size zero sales employee could muster. My last meals began flashing through my brain. Pizza with the kids last night, hot dogs for lunch at that birthday party, oh and I had cake and ice cream there too. I ate half of a leftover pop tart for breakfast along with three french toast sticks and a handful of goldfish crackers. I probably shouldn’t have had the Venti Latte at Starbucks either…God knows how many calories are in those things but I had been up all night with the teething baby and I was soooooo tired. So
