How NOT to handle the Birds and the Bees talk Crazy by Ashford - May 3, 20170 It's important to have the discussion beforehand about how you will handle questions regarding anatomy- aka "The Birds and the Bees" talk. This prevents you from being caught unprepared and having to answer "on the fly"- which of course exponentially increases your chances of saying something stupid. Case in point.... Meeny was born when Eeny was just 2 years old. So of course there were lots of questions regarding breastfeeding (she referred to my boobs as "baby food” for years). However, the questions were not the greatest source of concern. Eeny quickly realized that while I was nursing the baby I was basically incapacitated and found that this was an excellent time to get into mischief. One particular afternoon as I was [chained
I am a Suburban Slumlord Crazy by Ashford - April 18, 20173 “If I dropped a dollar bill on the floor in our house I wouldn’t even pick it up,” my husband said only halfway joking. He says the floors are too dirty to warrant the risk of retrieving the dollar. And it’s probably half true. With three small (feral) children and three dogs I am basically a suburban slumlord. I was raised in a pristine house. Everything had it’s place and by God everything was in it’s place. The countertops and floors sparkled and there was no question that it was safe to eat off the floor. My house always looked like a magazine shoot for Southern Living. Even when we had kids in the house. Of course since I was raised
Ever have to ring the call button in the dressing room? I did… Crazy by Ashford - January 5, 20173 “Do you own Spanx? That might help!” she cheerfully suggested. The words hung in the air thick with the judgement that only a 21 year old size zero sales employee could muster. My last meals began flashing through my brain. Pizza with the kids last night, hot dogs for lunch at that birthday party, oh and I had cake and ice cream there too. I ate half of a leftover pop tart for breakfast along with three french toast sticks and a handful of goldfish crackers. I probably shouldn’t have had the Venti Latte at Starbucks either…God knows how many calories are in those things but I had been up all night with the teething baby and I was soooooo tired. So
The weird kid Crazy by Ashford - September 9, 20161 Three years ago I started blogging and posted my very first post. Of course I didn't realize this milestone until FB Memories reminded me. I'm on my second website and what a journey it's been. In honor of this milestone I am reposting my VERY FIRST POST- you can tell that my life has always been chock full of rich material. Thank you for reading, following, and sharing. Love to you all. ************ [Posted September 9, 2013 on a now defunct website.] Do you ever worry that YOUR kid might just be the WEIRD kid at school? I’m not talking about the “march to the beat of her own drum” type weird. I’m talking “the smelly kid who stands in the corner alone
