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Year: 2017

You can call me “Murphy”

by Ashford - 6

I’ve been doing an awful lot of soul searching here recently. It’s the reason i’ve been so quiet. So absent. I’ve come to understanding a certain number of truths about myself. Not all of them are ready to be shared but one, I feel, needs to be said. I am a calamity. An accident waiting to happen. I am a series of unfortunate events strung together by a dark sense of humor and an incredible surge of adrenalin. So this leaves me to let you know that you may as well call me Murphy.    As in Murphy’s Law. As in the human embodiment of the concept that if something can go wrong it will. You see I’ve been fighting it my whole life. Trying

Rewriting your past

by Ashford - 1

In college I once wrote a paper for my Psych class about the fact that the smell of motor oil turns me on.  Weird right? Yeah I know. But you see your sense of smell has an amazing ability to take you back to a moment that you had long ago- in an instant you’re there. You see my boyfriend at the time (now my husband) was a mechanic. We were dating long distance but every month or so he would leave work on a Friday and make the 5 hour drive to my campus to see me. He always smelled of motor oil and manual labor. He doesn’t smell like that anymore. Now he smells like an office, or on a good

That time I got recognized in public (I’m famous Ya’ll!!!!)

by Ashford - 5

So I'm having one of those days ya know? The “It’s President’s Day and so my shower can wait just one more day” days. Not to say that we were lazy because oh holy heck we weren’t. We were up with the roosters making bacon and pancakes at the boys’ insistence and by 10 am we were itching to get out of the house. We went to the local park and hiked, and did the nature trail, and found a maze in the woods, and found a “secret” cemetary, and threw rocks in the creek, and all the other things you do on a holiday. Well, if I were to be completely honest all the things you wish to do on a

Ever have to ring the call button in the dressing room? I did…

by Ashford - 3

“Do you own Spanx? That might help!” she cheerfully suggested. The words hung in the air thick with the judgement that only a 21 year old size zero sales employee could muster. My last meals began flashing through my brain. Pizza with the kids last night, hot dogs for lunch at that birthday party, oh and I had cake and ice cream there too. I ate half of a leftover pop tart for breakfast along with three french toast sticks and a handful of goldfish crackers. I probably shouldn’t have had the Venti Latte at Starbucks either…God knows how many calories are in those things but I had been up all night with the teething baby and I was soooooo tired. So

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