I am a Suburban Slumlord Crazy by Ashford - April 18, 20173 “If I dropped a dollar bill on the floor in our house I wouldn’t even pick it up,” my husband said only halfway joking. He says the floors are too dirty to warrant the risk of retrieving the dollar. And it’s probably half true. With three small (feral) children and three dogs I am basically a suburban slumlord. I was raised in a pristine house. Everything had it’s place and by God everything was in it’s place. The countertops and floors sparkled and there was no question that it was safe to eat off the floor. My house always looked like a magazine shoot for Southern Living. Even when we had kids in the house. Of course since I was raised
You can call me “Murphy” Crazy by Ashford - April 5, 20176 I’ve been doing an awful lot of soul searching here recently. It’s the reason i’ve been so quiet. So absent. I’ve come to understanding a certain number of truths about myself. Not all of them are ready to be shared but one, I feel, needs to be said. I am a calamity. An accident waiting to happen. I am a series of unfortunate events strung together by a dark sense of humor and an incredible surge of adrenalin. So this leaves me to let you know that you may as well call me Murphy. As in Murphy’s Law. As in the human embodiment of the concept that if something can go wrong it will. You see I’ve been fighting it my whole life. Trying