You might be a mom if…

You

Guest post by Gina Ballentine of Stage Too

You might be a mom if…

… your car is not just a vehicle but also a movie theatre, a dining room, a dance floor, and a therapist’s office. 

… your phone contains 300 blurry photos of inanimate objects your preschooler took. 

… you consider showering before 10 am an accomplishment.  

… you haven’t peed alone in over a year.

… there are plastic ponies, dolls, and mermaids in your shower. 

… you can walk through a playroom in the dark like a Ninja, never stepping on a single toy that is scattered throughout the room. 

… you find a random sock, hair bow, or googly eye in your purse. 

… you grab a Capri sun for yourself to drink. 

… you consider 3 chicken nuggets, 6 grapes, and a half eaten cookie a balanced meal. 

… you do 3 loads of laundry every single day of the week and still cannot catch up. 

… you have become an expert at doing pretty much everything with only one hand, and not even your dominant one.  

… the restaurant you go to the most often has a playground attached to it. 

… you consider 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep refreshing and a good night. 

… when you hear someone about to throw up you instinctively reach out to catch it in your hand. 

… you can carry 6 bags of groceries, an open juice box, a purse, a diaper bag, 2 dolls, and a 30 pound sleeping child in one trip without dropping a single thing.

… you check for floaters in your drink before you take a sip in case one of your kids got to it first. 

… the magic of Christmas, Easter, Halloween, and Valentine’s Day has returned. 

… your refrigerator also doubles as an art display. 

… you know the actors in the Teen Bop magazine cover. 

… you catch yourself singing “Let it Go” while at work or the grocery store.

… you just started singing “Let it Go” in your head.

… your tablet case looks like a monster, a cartoon character, or has stickers all over it. 

… all the apps on your phone are for ages 3+

… you schedule your pap smear around PTA meetings, play dates, and baby-sitter availability. 

… you could serve a full meal with the food that is on the floor board of your car. 

… your serving wear has cartoon characters on them… even the forks. 

… you go to sporting events where the star athlete scores in the opposing team’s goal more times than in their own. And they are excited when they do so. 

… you look forward to the annual Spelling Bee because it is a chance for you to socialize with other adults. 

… you have ever told someone “You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit”. 

… you have ever swatted blindly into your backseat while driving hoping to connect with an arm, leg, SOMETHING because of what was going on back there.

… you consider arriving 5 minutes later than scheduled as being early. 

… you have ever gone through a car wash for entertainment.

… you are an expert at doing hair and nails but yours always looks like crap. 

… you pee yourself a little when you sneeze/cough/laugh.

… you have several clothing items get ruined by the adhesive from stickers. 

… you have rewashed the same load of clothing 4 times to try to get the desiccant completely out of the laundry from the diaper that exploded when you washed the original load. 

… you are the Master at hiding things; so good, in-fact, that you forget where they are. 

… you are going to reread this because this is a very accurate description of you. 

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